Not Just Pretty Flowers: A Reformed Girl and Her Masculine Theology

Breaking the mold of the reformed woman

Out of the tornado October 9, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — ashleylavalette @ 23:04

About a month ago, I felt a change brewing in the air.  Just like the calm before a tornado, I felt the peace and knew that it wasn’t going to be here for long.  I felt like God was behind the scenes working on something and I knew it was going to be big.

It was about that time that I felt like I should start blogging again.  I had felt the year before that God was calling me to create a blog directed toward Christian women to challenge us to dive deeper into His Word and not be afraid to study dead guys’ thoughts on God.  Truthfully, a year later, I don’t know if anyone has even read it outside of a few very great friends who wrote encouraging words on my wall.  I did feel, however, that the blog was for me, if not anyone else.  I could use the blog to deal with topics that I wanted to study and actually write down what God’s Word had to say about them.  If the posts helped others in the process, that’d be awesome. 

I needed some help to get started again – a jumpstart.  Since I posted about three weeks ago, I have asked around to see what I could possibly write about that would be of interest to other women.  The results of my poll on the blog said that women mostly want to read and study about Women’s issues.

I also did some investigating on other blogs and Twitter.  It was through Twitter, I believe, that I discovered an author by the name of Anne Jackson (@FlowerDust), who wrote a book called “Permission to Speak Freely”.  In it, she writes about people’s responses to the question “What is one thing that you feel you can’t say in the church?”

Then the tornado hit.

I started seeing in myself (and others) how easy it is to think that I am the only one who feels broken.  I tend to think that the women around me seem to have it all figured out.  Or I do not want to burden them with my issues.  Or I do not know the women around me well enough to be honest. 

God convicted me that I really needed to start reading and believing His Word when it comes to darkness. The Bible teaches that sin loves darkness.  It is scared of the light.  It is scared of judgment from God and others.  It is scared that coming in the light may mean pain and vulnerability. 

But the Bible says that God calls us out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9).  It says that God, even while we lived in the darkness that we created for ourselves to live in, sent His Son to die for us (Romans 5:8), and through His death and resurrection, He gives us the grace to leave that darkness and run toward His marvelous light. 

Sometimes the darkness gets to be too much.  Sometimes we poke our heads out enough to say that something is wrong, that we are broken, but something inside us says that we deserve it.  Who are we to ask God to get us out of this darkness?

Jesus says over and over again in the Gospels that He came for sinners, for the broken people, for the people who need to be rescued from the darkness.  “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners” Mark 2:17, again in Luke 5:32, ESV).

So why are we so scared of the light?  Why are we scared to talk to God and tell Him that we need Him?

I want to spend some time to challenge myself through this blog and to you, who happens to be reading it – trust God.  Even in the middle of what feels like the darkest dark, God already knows.  He just wants us to trust that He can handle us.  His light chases away the darkness.  His love envelopes us and we soon find that the darkness could never protect us like it promised.  We cannot get out of the darkness without Him.

I want to put another challenge out there – get in a place where just you and God can be alone.  Use your voice and tell God about your darkness.  Ask Him for forgiveness and for healing.

Psalm 86 (ESV):

1 Incline your ear, O Lord, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.
2 Preserve my life, for I am godly;
save your servant, who trusts in you—you are my God.
3 Be gracious to me, O Lord,
for to you do I cry all the day.
4 Gladden the soul of your servant,
for to you, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.
5 For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving,
abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you.
6 Give ear, O Lord, to my prayer;
listen to my plea for grace.
7 In the day of my trouble I call upon you,
for you answer me.

If you want to take another step out of that darkness, one way that you can do it is comment below and share what areas that you find yourself broken and in need of God.  Please do not feel like you have to leave your name.  I encourage you to also share with a godly woman who can help you with finding prayer, accountability, and a counselor if necessary.

Love Ashley


5 Responses to “Out of the tornado”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    My darkness uses guilt. I feel like I have to say just the right thing or try to make peace with everyone. I am just afraid to lose someone I love.

  2. Samantha Says:

    It’s comforting to see that even Christian women struggle with this. So often I’m told that if I become a Christian, God will take on my problems for me. But I believe what I believe, and I love my religion, as they love theirs. I’m not saying I’m glad to see you struggle, but rather that it makes me feel less alone.

  3. Anonymous Says:

    Wow! What lessons we can learn from the storms. I often wonder “why?” when I find myself in the midst of the rushing winds, being blown about like a leaf. But, once I get to the other side, I see that the winds were necessary to blow away the storm clouds, and let the sun shine through.

  4. Emily Says:

    Thanks for your words, Ashley! I want to think of His “Marvelous Light” today. Empowering. Encouraging.

  5. Heather Says:

    TY Ashley…sooooo needed to read this.

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