Not Just Pretty Flowers: A Reformed Girl and Her Masculine Theology

Breaking the mold of the reformed woman

What does God say about sex? May 27, 2009

Filed under: Articles,Bible — ashleylavalette @ 17:30

The following is an article I wrote last year.   Check out Mars Hill Church in Seattle’s sermon series Religion Saves… for more resources.

What does God say about SEX?

The very first place to start is well… at the beginning.  Why did God create sex?

Genesis 2:24-25, we find that God created woman as a partner – wife – for man and that they were naked.  Adam and Eve were given the gift of sex to become one.  The word “one” in this verse is similar to how the Trinity (God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit) is One.  God made sex to be more than an act.  Sex binds two people together to make one body.

In vs. 25, God points out that in their nakedness, there was no shame.  In this relationship with each other and God, they were in perfection – what God created them to be.

After Adam and Eve both sinned, the first thing that they realized was that they were naked.  In nakedness, one cannot hide dark sin. 

In Exodus 20, God gives Moses the Ten Commandments.  The first is in vs. 3.  Having no other god before Him does not always mean statues of little fat men.  It means anything that comes in between your relationship with God.  God is the only One who is to be worshiped.  He is the Creator.  So many times, we worship the created, as warned in vs. 4, instead of the creator.  So many times people make other people (their boyfriends/girlfriends/friends with benefits) their god.  They worship their partner.  They lay down on an altar and give a sacrifice (the bed), they allow the partner to use them to glorify themselves.

In vs. 14, God says that adultery is a no-no.  You know, Martin Luther said that the first two commandments are the most important.  Because if you love the Lord with all your heart, mind, and soul, and you have no other gods but Him, the rest of the commandments will just happen.

 So, what is adultery?  Adultery is a relationship (mostly referred to with sexual connotations) with someone other than one’s spouse.  The problem is that though one might not be married at this moment, they will most likely be one day.  So, having sex with someone outside of a marriage relationship is having sex with someone other than their spouse.  Think of it this way – one day, the man you are having sex with will be married.  One day, you will be married.  Both of you are having affairs on your future spouse.

Proverbs 6:32 sums up the depth of adultery.  There is pain involved.  This is because God created sex for the husband and the wife.  Anything outside of this covenant – promise – is sinful and with sin comes pain and death.

 Jesus takes the definition of adultery one step further in Matthew 5.  Jesus spends most of His time teaching people that ‘the rules’ don’t mean anything if your heart is not one that is seeking after and worshipping God.  He shows us that even in our hearts, we can commit adultery.  Even wanting someone who is not ours is sinful.  The definition for lust here (the word Epithumeo in Greek), means to covet.  God warns us against this in one of the other commandments (Ex. 5:17).

 Anytime the phrase “sexual immorality” appears in Scripture, especially in the New Testament, the word is ‘Porneia’.  This is an overall group for anything sexual outside of marriage.  Paul talks about Porneia quite a bit especially to one of the churches in Corinth.  Corinth was very similar to our culture today, with an “Anything Goes!” mentality.  1 Corinthians 6:12-20 is where Paul hits the church hard.  In vs. 12, Paul kills the excuse that we are human and do not have to be in control of our own bodies.  Vs. 13, tells us that our bodies are for God, to worship Him and to honor Him.  Paul goes on to say in vs. 18-20 that sexual immorality is the one way that we can sin against the body.  If you are a Christian, saved by the grace of Jesus who purchased you with His blood on the cross for your sins, then your body is not your own, but God’s.  The Holy Spirit lives in those who are saved and when their bodies sin, they bring God with them.

Colossians 3:5-8 says that just as Christ was put to death for our sins, we are to put them to death and run away from them.  That includes sexual immorality.

Back in 1 Corinthians 6, Paul makes some very serious claims.  Vs. 9-10 says that our sins are serious.  Using your body as a prostitute would get you to hell if there is no repentance to Jesus.  Repentance means asking Jesus for forgiveness and crucifying that sin, as He was crucified in our place, and turning away from it. 

 In John 4:1-26, Jesus teaches us that we cannot ever be filled by the empty promises of sexual immorality – Porneia.  Here we see Him speaking to a woman at a well with a very busy sexual history.  She was worshipping the created instead of the Creator.  She had gone in and out of relationships that only left her dry and ruined.  She had to have been lonely.  She definitely had a reputation.  We know this because she was visiting the well at the hottest part of the day – when no one would be around to judge her.  She knew she wasn’t satisfied.  When Jesus tells her in vs. 13 that she will only end up being thirsty again, He was not just talking about actual water.  He was talking about all of the lies that people buy into that make them think that they will be fulfilled.  In vs. 14, He says it.  We will only be satisfied in Him.  Only in Jesus.  Not sex, not relationships.  Not the opposite sex.  Only in Jesus.

 You see, it’s not an issue of when to/ not to.  This is a worship issue.  Either we worship the Creator or the created.  Either we look for the Living Water to take away our thirst or we try to fill ourselves up on something that never will. 

 Romans 8:1 – Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

 What does God say about sex?


  • The Beginning
    • Genesis 2:24-25
    • vs. 25


  • The 10 Commandments – Exodus 20
    • vs. 3
    • vs. 4
    • vs. 14


  • Adultery
    • Proverbs 6:32
    • Matthew 5
    • Ex. 5:17


  • Porneia
    • Corinthians 6:12-20
    • vs. 12
    • Vs. 13
    • vs. 18-20


  • Put it to Death!
    • Colossians 3:5-8
    • 1 Corinthians 6: 9-10


  • Jesus and Woman at the Well
    • John 4:1-26
    • vs. 13
    • vs. 14




Romans 8:1 –

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.



Extra Scriptures about sexual immorality:

  • Romans 13:13
  • Galatians 5:19
  • Ephesians 5:3
  • 1 Thessalonians 4:3
  • Jude 1:7

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